Sounds of Silence

I am used to constant noise and activity. It is the norm now. We have five parrots, one dog, two kids, and there is always music playing, toys blaring, or the ever-reliable NOGGIN channel (thanks Yo Gabba Gabba, what's the deal with that show anyway?). So when I am home and the husband is at work, the boys are napping, and the birds are quiet, I feel lost. Lost in my own thoughts. Like I should be doing something that I'm not. I pull myself up, shower, clean things, get the mail, whatever I can to pass the time. Then I realize I am just trying to get through the precious moments of silence until all hell breaks loose again. Because sometimes silence isn't golden, it's loud and hurts my ears. Because I now love the newborn cry and the 19 month old banging on things. Sometimes I find myself watching Blue's Clues when no one else is. I used to be so cool, what the hell happened to me?