Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mothers, Friends, and Dogs

I have come to the intelligent conclusion that moms, friends, and dogs can pretty much help with any given situation. As long as you have at least one of the above, consider yourself lucky. Friends are not like what you find on television shows, coming and going throughout the day through an unlocked door and having jobs that they never seem to actually go to. And moms are not June Lockhart or Leave it To Beaver, wearing pearls and red lipstick whilst cleaning the house with a white picket fence. And dogs are not all Lassie, alerting you to small children stuck in a well... They are real people with kids, financial problems, marriage issues, and real occupations. Some dogs smell and sleep all the time, some friends have husbands who allow their wives to send "sensitive" pictures of recent medical procedures over the internet (I'm talking to you, "Regina"), or share their own experiences of loss to prevent you from making a rash decision, and some moms have their box o wine that gets them through the day... My point is, all of these people (and canines, or felines if you're into that) are there for you and if they judge you, hell, at least they do it behind your back. Like a good friend or family member would. I can take that.
Now as far as in-laws go, well, all that comes to mind is the "C" word. And Mom if you are reading this, I have taken pity on you and not spelled it out - but I wanted to, really, really badly.
Now look, I realize this was not my deepest or most literate post, but folks, I'm not Bill Shakespeare - we all have our breakdown moments...

The Bloodletting...

In a solid effort to distract myself from recent issues, I have taken a course of action. This would be vigorously scratching the numerous mosquito bites I have accumulated over the past several days. My arms and legs are virtually covered with wounds from vicious insects. I found I have given in to the incessant itching they have caused and I scratch with great abundance. I scratch and scratch until I have big red marks and I bleed. *I can go off on a profound sidenote here about how my bleeding is a release of anger and vitrol that is inside of me but I shall skip it for now*
Anyway... I looked in the mirror after my shower and was astounded to see the injuries I have caused myself. Not to mention shaving my legs was purely out of the question. And as I sit here furiously typing away to finish this post before my children wake up, I continue to scratch. Where is my self control? Have I lost that along with my mind, my identity, and my good sense?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

To Quote Darth Vader...

..."Now his failure is complete".
End quote.
Has someone you love ever hurt you so badly that you feel it in your core, your soul? Someone you foolishly thought had your back and would stick by you through all the bullshit Life throws your way? Someone you considered to be your partner and best friend? And the hurt is so exquisite, so deep that you cannot even cry? But the betrayal is so evident it may as well be tattooed right on your forehead (or fivehead as the case may be).
Yeah, I thought so. It was only a matter of time.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Sounds of Silence

I am used to constant noise and activity. It is the norm now. We have five parrots, one dog, two kids, and there is always music playing, toys blaring, or the ever-reliable NOGGIN channel (thanks Yo Gabba Gabba, what's the deal with that show anyway?). So when I am home and the husband is at work, the boys are napping, and the birds are quiet, I feel lost. Lost in my own thoughts. Like I should be doing something that I'm not. I pull myself up, shower, clean things, get the mail, whatever I can to pass the time. Then I realize I am just trying to get through the precious moments of silence until all hell breaks loose again. Because sometimes silence isn't golden, it's loud and hurts my ears. Because I now love the newborn cry and the 19 month old banging on things. Sometimes I find myself watching Blue's Clues when no one else is. I used to be so cool, what the hell happened to me?

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I Used To Sing In The Shower

Back in the day-o I fancied myself the next Natalie Merchant, or going back to 1982 the sixth member of Duran Duran (shut up). Up until two years ago I would sing in the shower. Ah, fond memories of actually having time to take a shower and shaving my legs or (gasp) under my arms, but I digress... I could sing anything, selections from the musical "Grease", something from 10,000 Maniacs, or perhaps my stand-by favorite 'Endless Love' (I sang both parts because I'm diverse like that y'all). My point is I actually knew the words to different songs.
Now when I find myself under the flow of water in my bathroom, the only songs that fill my head are those off my son's toys. The amount of times a day I hear "Hickory Dickory Dock" in some strange choral arrangement or "Row Row Your Damn Boat" is amazing. So instead of pretending I am the newest pop singer on the scene, living like a rock star, doing meth, and drinking too much - I am now reciting the ABC song (in English and Spanish). I often wonder to myself, is anyone else going through this too?

Visit This Website

If you want to do something good for animals, visit this website Or you could visit the Animal Rescue Site at Go to "click to give", it is totally free and you can go to sleep tonight know you helped out sheltered dogs and cats. Also take time to visit the Rainforest Site, Breast Cancer Site, and a few others that the Animal Rescue Site can take you to. Also, if you buy something from the website, the money goes towards the charity. BONUS!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

What Annoys Me...

This annoys me - when people act happy all the time. I mean, how can you be happy ALL of the time? Are you on drugs? Are you faking it? Or are you so completely miserable that all you have in your life is the facade of making other people think you are perfect?
Not judging, just wondering.

Hi, I'm New Here

Well, here it is, my blog. Created on my trusty Sidekick LX. So don't expect any fancy stuff because I have zero time to actually sit in front of a computer. My lovely Macbook sits collecting dust on the dining room table. I will talk about kids, feelings, celebrities, and whatever I find interesting at the moment. Right now I am enjoying a glass of fine wine, André from Food Lion! Only $2.99 Bitches! Sometimes I need to vent, I get sad. It will take me a while to get the hang of this, so stick with me.